o14 ★ PHILOSOPHIZING

[electrowhipit]

It's amazing how, one day everyone can be going on about... uh... female... body parts... and one day people can be talking about morals and choices, and going home.

Whatever happens, I just hope there's a way for everyone to get what they want- whether it's a way home, or a life here. There's no reason why we have to fight each other in order for that to happen, right? I know I don't want this to become a battle. I've got one of those waiting for me at home already.

[ FILTERED TO OLIVIER ]

Olivier? I have those nails you asked for. Did you want to meet somewhere?

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[electrowhipit]

... That's all I wanted to know.

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[thenorthernwall]

And I assume you're going to judge me based upon that. What did he tell you we discussed?

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[electrowhipit]

[ sigh ] Look, I trust Sideswipe with my life, but I'll be the first to admit he can get kind of... dramatic. He made you out to be some kind of lunatic, but I had my reservations.

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[thenorthernwall]

[She laughs. It's like the way someone's mom laughs before she gives you grandma's meatloaf recipe that she won't even eat.] I've been called much worse things for much better reasons.

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[electrowhipit]

[ The laughing throws him. Sideswipe did liken her to a Decepticon, but he supposes that word doesn't carry as much weight for her as it does him. ]

Look, all I know is I'd rather work with you than against you.

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[thenorthernwall]

[If she doesn't know the word, she won't get offended. Here, let's offend her!]

Well, what's your own assessment? And... [She thinks back...] Who is this "Megatron" he was talking about? And "Optimus" for that matter?

You and he could both be valuable in this fight, and I'd rather have you both unequivocally on my side.

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[electrowhipit]

... That's a loaded question. I don't suppose Sideswipe mentioned that we're not... usually... human?

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[thenorthernwall]

He did. That's why I think you'll both be valuable: He said you were built as soldiers.

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[electrowhipit]

We were. Built as soldiers in a millenia-long war. Optimus- Optimus Prime- is our leader. Megatron leads the opposing faction. I don't know what Megatron's deal is, but he's willing to destroy entire planets, entire races without a second thought in order to get what he wants.

Optimus... well, he's willing to do whatever it takes to see that Megatron and his Decepticons don't destroy another life. Even at the cost of his own. The rest of us just follow him as best we can.

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[thenorthernwall]

[Well, then.] I take it the thing he wants isn't candy and flowers.

Your friend has it completely wrong. You get that, don't you? My men are just the same as both of you.

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[electrowhipit]

No. I'm thinking he wants to take over the universe.

Trust me, I don't share Sideswipe's flare for the dramatic. If someone wants to get in your way, you'll remove them. If someone wants to fight you, you'll fight them. I get that. It's stupid to try and hold you to our ideals, especially when... [ he goes quiet, and he frowns slightly ]

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[thenorthernwall]

I just want to depose a tyrant who is trying to kill millions of people so that he and his kind can live forever. I actually think I was killed at the moment I was pulled here.

[She looks at him pointedly.] But I still want to go back.

...Are you going to finish that thought?

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[electrowhipit]

... Sounds like our wars have a lot in common.

[ he leans back again, looking at the sky ] We came to earth to fight Megatron- because our war was endangering your species. We fight off the Decepticons, sure, but... sometimes, to some people, it seems like we do more harm than good. And... well, humans fight and kill each other all the time. And we don't do anything to stop it. We have the means- sure, we can't be everywhere at once, but we could at least try. But we don't.

If push comes to shove, and you have to fight your way out of here, who am I to stop you?

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[thenorthernwall]

[She scoffs.] I won't pretend to be a pacifist, by any means. I want my country to live peacefully, but if we're attacked, we should defend ourselves. Your kind isn't going to save us any time soon.

You sound like a noble bunch. Maybe a little naive, too, but at least you don't go butting into wars you have no business being in. Humans have a lot of pride, you know. We don't want to be dealt with like we're inferior.

[But she follows his gaze up to the sky.] You wouldn't stop me. Sideswipe likes to act like he will, but in the end, right now, aren't you just humans yourselves?

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[electrowhipit]

[ shrugs, still looking up ] A lot of that nobility comes from Optimus. He's always saying that freedom is the right of all sentient beings. In the grand scheme of things, humans are a young species, and you deserve to come into your own, on your own.

[ now he scoffs, a little smirk on his face ] Don't sound so sure. Maybe in these alien bodies, we're not much, but the town's given us a few tricks back.

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[thenorthernwall]

...Sideswipe said Optimus died?

Get a few more tricks back. [She smiles at him.] I'd like to see them sometime. And both of you, at full fighting capacity. I like big machines.

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[electrowhipit]

He... did. But he came back... somehow. I'm not really sure exactly how- it'd just happened when I was pulled here.

[ chuckles ] I've been ready to be back in my own body since the second I woke up in this one. ... Pretty sure I could take you like this, though.

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[thenorthernwall]

Well, if I accidentally get sent to your world, you'd better let me meet him. He sounds like an interesting fellow.

Oh, really? That's a tall order, soldier. I don't think you could. I still get up at five and train every morning. And after I take this home... [She shakes the purse.] ...I'll have my sword back.

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[electrowhipit]

I'm sure you two would have all sorts of things to talk about.

Fighting is what I was built for. Besides, the town gave me my weapons back a long time ago. [ quirks an eyebrow ] Sword? What happened to the kitchen?

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[thenorthernwall]

Oho, you already have them all back? Show me how they work. Fighting is what I was bred for. It's not too different.

[She laughs again.] I won't have any pots or pans left. That's a little like remodeling. You aren't going to get upset over a little tactical lying, are you?

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[electrowhipit]

I think I can find it in my spark to forgive you.

[ as for that first part, he flicks a hand out and one of his whips comes springing from his sleeve. It ricochets off of the statue of the mayor- not without damaging it, of course- and with another flick of his arm, it whips out to his side before retracting. ]

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[thenorthernwall]

Those look useful. [The scary look of joy and tactical planning is back.] I fought something with a similar weapon only a few weeks ago. He dislocated my brother's shoulder and broke my arm. Do you have any others?

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[electrowhipit]

That look on your face is a little frightening, just so you know.

And I just have my whips. And my electricity.

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[thenorthernwall]

[She actually covers her face, embarrassed.] I forget that I'm not supposed to smile. [With a sigh, she straightens herself up a bit.]

One of my men had an automail arm. Have you met Fullmetal--Edward Elric?

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[electrowhipit]

[ now he feels bad ): ] It's... not totally frightening.

... The name doesn't sound familiar. What's automail?